FINALLY!! Good News!

I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN A JOB!!! It is with RBC Bank as a part-time bank teller. I'll be working roughly 20-25 hours a week so I can still do things with Bella. Not to mention they are starting me out at $11.00 per hour. And (boss is checking with corporate) I might even get benefits! Only thing that sucks is I have to do a week of training out of town. I've not left Bella that long before so that scares me and saddens me. But it's only a week so I know we both will survive (I think lol). But they are obviously putting me up in a hotel and get this, I get a RENTAL CAR FOR FREE!! So I don't have to waste money on gas and keep up with mileage they are just going to get me a rental. Now that is just down right cool. And of course I let them know I'd love to go full time should (hopefully when) they need someone. Thank you God for this! And just in time for the holiday season too. This was needed badly so thank you for all the prayers and good wishes you've sent me! Hope all is well with everyone!

Job Possibilities

Well I had an interview at Western Carolina University as an Administrative Assistant. It seems the PERFECT job. Monday-Friday 8-5 with full and awesome benefits package. I was doing some serious praying in the lobby waiting for them to come get me for the interview. I want this one bad! It is in Sylva though which is about 25-30 minutes away, and I have to cross Cowee Mountain but it's not that bad. Mark drives it every day since he works in Sylva. Not to mention if I was to get a job in Sylva, we would just move back to Sylva.

Also, I called Farm Bureau. I had dropped off an app about a week ago. So called to see if they had filled the position and she laughed and said I was 2 on her list to call. Apparently canidates for interviews have to take some pre-screening test and I am scheduled for tomorrow. This is also a good job and Monday-Friday. Probably close to the same hours. So that would be a good one too. And it's here in Franklin so it's a lot closer.
Hopefully something will pan out, I NEED A JOB!!

Update on me - warning - novel to follow

Well things have been really hectic and a bit on the bad side. The 2 placements didn't work out. Mostly me, partly Bella. Me, I just couldn't handle it. Skyler (the boy) wasn't a problem at all. Very quiet and sweet. Velvet, she was, excuse the language, a hellion. I don't know if it was normal for a child of her age or what she'd been thru, even though she was only about 18 months or so. I suppose it was a bit of both. I had to let them go. And I felt (and still do to a degree) like a horrible and evil person. Had it just been one, I think I would have handled it better, maybe. Mark thinks that I just can't deal with one that young and that we should only take in children Bella's age. And I am afraid he's right, which cuts me so deeply. I have so wanted babies, children, lots of them, and it looks like I may not be able to handle it. Betty (Bella's counselor) talked to me a bit about it too and agreed with my "mental issues" I may just not be able to handle the stress, which again makes me feel like a failure and just a horrible person. I kept just breaking down and having crying fits, irritable (though of course I never took it out on the children, but poor Mark). I would get to the point sometimes I would just be at the end of my rope and wind up in the bedroom crying my eyes out. The only thing that makes me feel better is the fact I know the family that took them in. We had actually done respite care for them when they had 2 sisters (went back to their parents) and they are thru Grandfather Homes, so I know they are a good and loving family. Also just because I saw how they were with the girls they had. So I at least have the comfort of knowing they have a good and loving family that will take exceptionally good care of them. With Bella it is a bit more complicated. She started having problems. Some of just normal for any child that has been an only child and then all of a sudden has to share mom and ones so young demanding so much attention. Had it just been that type of adjustment, we'd seen Betty and just work thru it. But it hit her more deeply than that. First it started dredging up old wounds for her, fear, anxiety...she broke down in Wal-Mart just sobbing her heart out and told me she was scared that if I loved her then I wouldn't love the little ones and if I loved them then I wouldn't be able to love her. I am in tears just writing this. Seeing that kind of worry and grief on one so young, it just isn't right. She shouldn't have those type of concerns, and then she was terrified of them leaving and going to a bad home where they would be mistreated. I assured her that I had plenty of love to go around for everyone and pointed out how we love daddy and grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins, etc. But I called Betty right away and she being our Angel made us an appointment for the very next day. Where she expressed more worry for her and at the same time for the little ones. We talked a bit and scheduled another appointment. The next time she will talk more to Bella and to me as well without her present. She said, when she could talk without Bella paying attention, that we need to discuss in detail whether or not we should take in anymore long term placements for awhile. And Mark and I agree. We will talk about it in more depth. But I think it brought up some old unresolved issues for her, and she is my main concern. So we need to make sure she is ok before taking anymore in. She doesn't have a problem with respite, she knows its basically babysitting and they aren't staying. And seeing how she reacted to the little ones, after only about 3 weeks, if that long, I have to think the damage it would do to her if we took in a placement and they are with us for months and then wind up going back. At this point in her life it would devastate her. So this is definitely something we need to address with her first. And after they left she just broke down in tears. It was just heartbreaking. But I was able to reassure her that they went to a really good home and she remembered Kim and Eddie and that made her feel somewhat better. Then today Kim met me at her gymnastics class to drop off the car seat we loaned them and a few other things and she got to see them and that just thrilled her and Kim is all about setting play dates and meeting at the park, etc so she will still have some contact. But I will also make sure with Betty that is a good idea as well. I worry about her still getting too attached because it is just too soon to tell what is going to happen. They have just gone into the system so it could be a few weeks to months. And we were told from the get go that they probably would not be adoptable anyway. They are part of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians and part of the tribe. The only reason the Tribe let us foster was because we had Indian heritage. And we were told that the Tribe probably would only let another family from the Tribe adopt them. Talk about sad. So needless to say it's been an emotional roller coaster, which seems to be all my life is lately. And then there's Kennen and Mark's side of the family. They've all gone insane. Twice now Kennen has said he wants to move back in. Spent the weekend with us and dead set on coming home. Both times, Mark took him back to Andrews to get his stuff and both times he's changed his mind and stayed. I told Mark we are not playing this game. If this keeps up he will have no say in the matter and he will just be moving back here whether he wants to or not. Mark told him if he doesn't have decent grades on his report card, he's coming home. Not to mention he's not seen a doctor over there, he is not on medication for his ADHD. And he and his brother fight. Mark's dad is home and hospice comes out to help but his mind is going to some degree and he complains and rants and raves a bit and drives everyone crazy. And of course seeing his dad like this is killing Mark. And then there's Rodney. Kennen's older brother who is so mentally messed up and so far gone only God can help him now. He's 19 or 20 and in and out of trouble with the law, already on probation and has done nothing he's supposed to do and is probably going to jail. For some reason (and it's always been this way) Mark's mom thinks the sun rises and sets on him and it's never his fault and she always takes his side. To the point of telling Mark, Kennen and her own husband she wants nothing to do with them when they try to do anything. Heck, he pushed Mark's PREGNANT niece. Thank God she didn't fall down the stairs. So they took a warrant out on him. That just put the family in such an uproar and went to the point his family was shutting him AND Heather out, because of course it was all their fault and not his. Mark is to the point he just hates Rodney. Also because he just does his best to drive Mark's dad crazy. He'll call him names, cuss him, poke him, smack him and Mark is terrified he is going to drive him to a heart attack. It's just such a mess. And I still haven't found a job and money is getting really tight. We are in a financial crisis here. Jobs here are so scarce and I can't seem to find anything. I worked 3 whole days at a stupid movie rental store and was fired because we got the placements and they wouldn't give me a couple of days to get them into daycare. Life has been really hard. Please pray for us, we need it so badly. Well sorry for the novel but it feels good to get it all out.

Big Time Update - Lots going on

Well thank God the lesion on my liver came back benign!! They will just continue to ultra sound it every year, keep an eye on it. Little nervous about it being there at all but have faith God will continue to keep it benign.

Bella is doing great in first grade. She is just BRILLIANT! I know I am biased but she really is! She is already in advanced reading, making the highest scores in math and nailing her spelling tests INCLUDING the extra point bonus words. What can I say LOL. She loves school and is just really excited about it and doing so great. She just started back at gymnastics too and is having a blast!

We also have just taken 2 more placements. A little girl, Velvet (1 1/2 yrs) and Skyler, a little boy (2 1/2 yrs). They are precious but my goodness a handful! Took a LOT of getting used to. I've never really taken care of ones so young and to be handed 2 of them on top of Bella, PSHEW! It's been a madhouse. At first I didn't think I was going to be able to handle it and have to give them back. I felt so horrible and thought I was such an evil person for it. Everyone told me I wasn't and it just isn't meant to be for everyone. Well it's been ages since AF had showed and I realized I had removed my hormone patch and hadn't put a new one on. Weeeellll...BAM AF hit and I put on the hormone patch and wow! What a difference that made LOL. Never thought about it being PMS. So it's going MUCH better, of course I have moments I could just scream, but it's the normal stuff now, not the breaking down and falling apart like I was before. I had just gotten a part time job at Movie Gallery and asked for like 2-3 days to get them in daycare and was fired. Nice huh. I mean come on, it's a freaking video store. Not to mention Bella and I LIVE there so the lady knows she's adopted and we are foster parents. Her reasoning for letting me go was "I should have thought about the fact I was a foster mom before taking the job." Guess foster moms aren't allowed to work. Yeah, pissed me off. Oh well, I'll find a better job. Already had one interview for a really good one. And put in some apps at a few other really promising ones.

So needless to say I've not gotten much done on my etsy projects. But I still have my store up, hoping to sell something someday LOL.

Thanks for all the support!!

Rachel

Prayer Needed!

Hey everyone. Just wanted you to know I am extremely freaked/scared/worried out of my wits end. As most of you know, several months ago I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy done (at the same time ) several months back. I went in for my 6 month check-up today. He went over most of the results he'd told me (and my husband) after the procedure. Well then he pops in this little tidbit of information, that the radiologist had found a lesion on my liver he noted it was small and was probably beningh but that does not make me feel better. Because the other alternative is that it's a tumor. And I'm scared. I try to remind myself God wouldn't have given us Rosabella just to turn around and take me away from her but I'm still scared. Please pray it's nothing. I am going in tomorrow morning at 7:30am for an ultra sound but of course I won't get the results for a few days they have to have the radiologist read the results, then transcripted and then they call with the results. You know I'm gonna be buggin the person doing the ultra sound-they've usually done enough of them to know the difference between normal or something else. I just pray I know something before the weekend, I don't think I would make it if I had to wait the whole weekend too.

Update On Me - Not Pretty

I tell you, I've not updated in awhile because so much has been going on. As most of you know, I've suffered from depression and recently my medicine stopped working and my doctor and I were trying to find a new one that would work. We were having no luck whatsoever. So while on a med (and slowly increasing dosage) hoping this one would work, I decided to try therapy. Barely into the first assessment she informs me she thinks I am Bi-polar and not chronic depressive. She said my irritability (I've been such a joy to be around ) and my excessive spending (to the point I had to come off our checking account because I've put us in debt) and the fact that my anti-depressants keep stop working are all signs of Bi-polar. Also, I had been sinking fast, and was cycling from depression (uncontrolable crying, rage, feelings of worthlessness, and just no motivation to leave my chair) are all also markers for Bi-polar. Well I already had an appointment that Friday with my psychatrist and I told her I would speak with him about it. If you don't know, they mainly diagnose you then just make sure your medicines are working. When mine were, I'd only see him 2x's a year. I told him what the therapist said, and all my new symptoms (most had developed since our last appointment) and he completely agreed with her. One of the reasons I love him to death, he has no problem listening to others opinions, be it mine or others in his field and he has no problem admitting when he's wrong. He said I am what is considered "mixed Bi-polar or Bi-polar II". It's near the same as Bi-polar I but I don't have the hypo-mania that is associated with it. My mania's are the spending and the irriability were the replacements of the hypo-mania. And come to find out, you might feel better for a bit on anti-depressants but ultimately, they actually aggrivate the symptoms of Bi-polar. So I am completely off them and on a mood stabilizer. However I am having to start out on a very low dosage and slowly increase. My doctor has put me on Lamictal. Hopefully when we reach the right dosage, it will work. Or I will have to start over with a new medicine. He also put me on Serequel (even though it's an anti-psychotic, and he swears I'm not psychotic lol, he said it would help with the irriability. For a long time it didn't but I've had to up that too. Well I've actually had a couple of good days, should have known it wouldn't last. I had also gotten a job, it was part-time but came with insurance and paid well with awesome future opportunities. Well I get up today and and first, it's circus week at day camp so I am trying to do an intricate face painting Bella had picked out on a half asleep cranky kid, then she decides not to wear the rest of the clown stuff we put together/bought just for her. She was too afraid she'd be laughed at. I guess having spent so much time in the system she has very low self-esteem. She didn't care if people thought the outfit was good, she was scared they would be laughing at her and not the costume. So she refused the clown glasses outright and in the car decided to take down the hair I had done, and it wasn't easy (it wasn't just a clown wig, I put it together) and took off the giant tie and only kept the face paint. Well I did tell her (comfortingly) that she needs to learn not to worry about what others think, that she should just have fun with her costumes but that it was also her decision and I wouldn't force her to wear what she didn't want to and nor would I be mad. So she stripped it all but the face paint. Ok, annoying going thru all that work but ok. Then I call to set up my next training session and they tell me they aren't going to follow thru and hire me. I took the inectivie to ASK for extra training instead of just waiting for the scheduled training sessions, so I could get a jump on things and had one and had set another. I had to cancel that one to take Bella to the doc. Well because of that they said thanks but no thanks!! And once again, the woman who hired me, didn't even have the decency to do it herself, had one of her staff do it. Again, this was EXTRA training I'd asked for!! So there goes my job. I am barely holding it together today. I just want to cry. But I have a doctor appointment soon for my back, which I am sure they are going to be able to do nothing about. Everything about this day is starting to go wrong. Looks like me and my college degree will be working for McDonalds, which is going to be even better for my back. Well know that I have finished my novel, I will let you all to it. Pray hard for me. Espcially after today, and it's not even NOON yet!!

Christmas In July Sale!!

CHRISTMAS IN JULY SALE! For this month ONLY receive 20% off any item in the store and receive a FREE gift with every order! Every day I will be adding something NEW so make sure to check back and at the end of the Christmas in July sale, I will draw ONE name from all the sales to win a FREE gift of retail value of no less than $20.00!! That's right, that's NOT a typo! Make sure you buy to be entered into this amazing drawing!!********************************************************************************************************************************I I am a crafter of all trades! I love to bead and paint and sew and crochet, just name it and I probably do it! And I LOVE and WELCOME all custom orders/requests. And of course there is NO extra charge for these (unless it's some insanely-hard-to-find/insanely expensive decoration wanted). All my orders come with a 30 day guarantee, if it breaks or if you are not happy with the crafts(wo)manship, LOL I will repair-replace-refund!! Always want happy and satisfied customers!********************************************************************************************************************************Please Please visit the rest my friends who are also celebrating Christmas in July!********************************************************************************************************************************ChristinasCreations2.etsy.comamejeur.etsy.com http://www.arianarmstrong.etsy.com/ artsyclay.etsy.com averysattic.etsy.com Bevie.etsy.com BlingsAndThings.etsy.com busybeads.etsy.com ButtonBoutique.etsy.com ByCoco.etsy.com covenantlights.etsy.comCreations2Cherish.etsy.com debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com eastendhomearts.etsy.com EllieLee.etsy.com Faithlady.etsy.com goodtidingscreations.etsy.com homefrontwebdesign.etsy.com InspirationCottage.etsy.comjackandjane.etsy.com jkcreativedesigns.etsy.comlinnearose.etsy.com LoriDelisle.etsy.comMeMeBevsCreations.etsy.com MFCardworks.etsy.com Mimas.etsy.com paintdrops.etsy.com pandphomemades.etsy.com PoppyPatch.etsy.comthepunkinpieloft.etsy.com Rachelsaprons.etsy.comrokstudy.etsy.com sethabram.etsy.com SilverSunbeam.etsy.com SunshineandLaughter.etsy.com supermomma45.etsy.com quildon2.etsy.comYoursTruli.etsy.com
********************************************************************************************************************************I I am also a proud member of CastTeam and Rubee. God Bless You All!********************************************************************************************************************************

Update on me

Well I have been a basket case lately and now I'm sick. but it's just a cold. I went and saw my pdoc today and after discussing my worsening symptoms he agree's. I am what is called "mixed bi-polar" and it's harder to diagnos and easy to miss because it reflects clinical depression so closely. But anti-depressants make it worse. That is part of the reason for my constant irritability. So he has put me on mood stabalizers along with meds to help me sleep and to help with the constant irritability and control my spending, or rather help me to help control it. As with all meds, it will take a few weeks for it to start working. But hopefully I am on the right path now. Keep praying hard for me!

Need Some Support!!

I am still looking for a job and we are in desperate need of some income! So I have a ton (and more to come today actually) listed on ebay and my etsy account. Please check them both out and see if there is anything you like. On my ebay account: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dllViewItem&rd=1&item=320257578881&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

this is just one of the items, if you go to the description part there is a place to click to see all my other items. Also if you wouldn't mind, you could sign my guestbook, I don't have any signatures :( http://myworld.ebay.com/rdebty/Guestbook and on my ebay I am running a special, a FREE gift with EVERY order! Now on my etsy account: http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com I am running a 10% off ANY item AND a FREE gift with every order. So help a poor broke girl out (LOL no pressure right) and check them out!

Thanks guys!!!

Updates & Sales!

Well we had our first counseling appointment yesterday with Kennen and Bella. Bella is to the point where Betty doesn't think she's going to need counseling much longer. We were laughing cause I told her "it's amazing how better she's doing since we got rid of DSS" and Betty whole hearted agreed. Well she met with Kennen first, yesterday was just an assessment to see if she would be best to counsel him or one of her colleagues. (Kennen absolutely loved her!) Well obviously for the assessment I was in the office with him, whether I'll be in during actual counseling sessions, I will let Kennen decide if he wants me present or not, give him the opportunity to speak freely. But the assessment went superb! Betty spotted almost at once (and I can't believe it never even crossed my mind!) that obviously some of his problems stem from the past things he's been thru but Betty told me flat out she could not believe Kennen had never been diagnosed but he is TEXTBOOK ADHD. As soon as Betty said this it all clicked into place. She tested him and had him do a computer test and written test while during Bella's appointment and sure enough, everything came back as ADHD. And it's so obviously it's pretty severe. She was just astonished that it had never been caught, especially since I've had him in counseling before. But EVERYthing that's been going on can be linked back to ADHD. She thinks a light dose of a medicine and obviously work on his part will be tremendous help. And she made sure to stress to Kennen that he would have to work on his attitude as well, that the medicine is not a fix all, that he will have to work on it too. Which I love about her. And it all fits just so perfectly, and me with all my knowledge on these issues never even crossed my mind. THIS is why I wanted him to see a counselor, an impartial 3rd party who can see things in a different light and see things we can't see. So I am to call today and schedule him an appointment with his doctor for medication. Kennen felt much better too and we talked about it a bit and he feel's so much better to know why he's having some (or alot) of his problems. And obviously Betty said his past does influence him in part and we will find out during some counseling. We go back in 2 weeks. And since Mark is off on Fridays, I had him take Bella to school and I took Kennen. And he really liked that alot. Hopefully this will help us all to become closer as a family. I am feeling very positive about this and much better.

Well, yesterday I got a job. Not sure how I feel about it. It's running the front/helping manage a motel here in Franklin. The people who manage it seem nice enough and the owner is an actual BILLIONare. Owning tons of things here and in Florida. And the office closes at 9pm. I would be required to work a couple of evenings a week and maybe a weekend here or there. It actually doesn't seem like a bad job and I think I would be preped to actually run the motel, because they also other manage and run a lot of different other properties for the owner. There is one other job I am waiting to hear on. I am going to email her today and see if she's made a decision. If I am offered it, I will take it instead. It's working in a doctors office which is M-F 8ish to 5pm with all paid holidays and full benefits. I'd rather have this position instead. So I am going to email her today and see if she has decided. I was supposed to find out Tuesday but I didn't hear anything so I emailed her on Wednesday and she said she had a couple more interviews and should have a decision this week. Well I am going to email her again today, and tell her about the other position and let her know I'd rather work there but if she is hiring someone else I'll take the other job and just see how it pans out.

So....wish us all LUCK!!

PS...big sale on my etsy shop and I have items listed on ebay so check 'em out!!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=320258074250&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

Long Over-Due Update

Wow, I know it's been a long time since my last post and I have a LOT of updating to do. So here it goes, I'll break it down into sections the best I can LOL.

Okay, first and foremost, the update on the adoption, IT'S FINAL!!! It was official on March 31st and we found out the first week of April. We are all just estatic beyond words! We are having an adoption party for her next weekend. We are having it at the park and inviting everyone. We will have cake and ice cream and snacks and lots and lots of presents. We are holding it at the park so the kids can run and play and I don't have to worry about cleaning up a huge mess after LOL. Bella (her new name so I can actually say it now) is just the happiest thing about it. She and I both were screaming and jumping up and down and I was basically crying. God's been so good to us. Now she wants a sister..lol. We do want to adopt another girl around her age so she will have a sister, someone to play with so she won't be so lonely. So that's been such a great relief.

On my nephew, he has been causing some serious problems and has my husband and I stressed beyond the breaking point. I've talked to my psychatrist and Bella's counselor and they both agree something deeper is going on. Everytime I suggest him going back into counseling (he was in it when he first came to live with us) he swore he would just sit there and not say a word. And he's 16yrs so it's hard to "make" him do anything. So finally it came to the point where we calmly told him he had to change or he was going to have to move elsewhere. We just couldn't take it anymore. The stress it was putting on all of us, scaring Bella, and the stress on our marriage, we just couldn't take it anymore. So, thank God, he has decided he wants to go back into counseling. He is going to meet with Bella's counselor (whom is just fantastic) and she is going to asses him and see if she is the right person to counsel him or if she thinks it should be a male. But the first step was him agreeing to counseling. So wish us luck with this.

And with me, my depression is still not that great. I seem to either be irritable all the time or just blah and can't snap out of it. It has also caused some stress in the house and on our marriage. And I just have no motivation do do anything. On top of all that I still haven't found a job, so money is tight and my husband (of course) is stressed about that and I myself need counseling but the sad part is, we can't afford it. I already see my shrink and that's $30 a visit and it would be the same for a counselor and with me not working we just can't afford it, whereas the kids both have medicaid so we don't have to pay for that. So please pray for healing on my part too. I've been like this for months now and I am just tired of feeling this way. I just have lost all zest for life, not as in a hurt myself way (I'd NEVER do that) but as in I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone, that's one of the reasons it's been so long since I've posted. Just couldn't make myself actually get up and do it. So I am fighting hard.

Also, this weekend, we got a call for another placement, a little boy that is 1yr old. I wanted to take him in so badly. I want a baby so bad. But Mark didn't. He feels like we just shouldn't with everything going on and me not working, which I think is perfect because I don't have to take off work to get him into daycare and such. We talked about it alot, and he's not sure he's ever going to want to take one in that young. He feels he is getting too old and doesn't think he will be able to handle it. Which of course made me even sadder and depressed because I really want a baby. But I also want it to be something that we both want, cause if it's not, that would make it unfair to him, me and most importantly, the child. And I understand his point, so I'm not mad at him (although he was afraid I was) I am just sad. And I told him that, that I can be sad about it without being mad at him.

So, lots going on and I am trying to deal. Oh and Mark's dad is still in the hospital. Actually a nursing home and hospice has been called in, so it's just a matter of time, we don't know how much. But he's suffering and that just stresses my poor husband even more. It's hard to see him go thru this. So we need prayer for that as well.

Okay, I am going to cut this one off for now, since I've wrote a book...lol. But as always, stop by my etsy shop: http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com and of course there is a sale going on and I have a few things on ebay as well. Here is the link to one of my items then you can just click the link at the bottom to see the other items: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=320252598428&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

SUPER SAVER SALE & FREE GIFT!

I have a fantastic sale starting today for my etsy shop! Purchase ANY item and receive 10% off along with a FREE gift! All my work comes with a 30 day warranty, if anything happens, send it back and I will fix/replace the item at no cost to you. I also take custom order requests at NO extra charge! And check back frequently, I will be added new items off and on all day today and tomorrow, this sale will run until further notice, so take advantage of this sale while you can!! http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

Frustration Sets In

Well I'm at Wal-Mart this morning and get a text from our caseworker Angie asking me if I had heard anything more on the delay on the adoption. Yes, you read that right. I texted her back asking what delay. So she was like obviously they didn't tell you. There is some obscure question about her biological parents on one of the forms that they didn't know the answer to so they left it blank (never been a problem before) but now the State has decided they don't want any blanks at all so now they have delayed signing the adoption papers and the DSS caseworker is having to try to find out the answer I mean it's no big deal and nothing that would stop the adoption, just aggravating because it's another delay in a long list of delays we've had with her case. And we had just started planning and bought invitations for the party and just set the date. Now we have to put that all on hold. Angie said she'd get a hold of Katie and get me some details and hopefully a time status. I've worked in that field and sometimes, there just is NO way to find the answer to that question probably some silly little thing since both parents did visitation thru DSS so they have most of the history they could have on both her parents. Don't you just love the system LOL.

Oh well, my half price sale on etsy is now over. Sorry to you all who missed out on it but never fear, I am having a 15% off sale on etsy and pinkdoodle. And don't forget to check out ebay

http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com
http://www.pinkdoodle.com

Sale coming to an end! And FIL update

Hey everyone. Hope all is doing well. I've been sick with a cold all weekend. Sucks. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday dozing off and on in my big purple plushy chair lol. We are all still excited about the finalization of the adoption. It's looking like it'll be around March 11th. Still can't believe it and we are throwing her a HUGE party. In less than TEN days Rosabella (her new name) will officially and legally be a part of the family. She's already been a part since the night I set eyes on her.

Well I am starting to get a bit desperate for a job. My unemployment won't last forever and things are stretched tight even with that. Just doesn't seem to be many jobs out there right now in my area so be sure to stop by one of my shops, I'm having sales in all of them!

At my etsy shop: http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com and everything there is 50% off!!
At my ebay shop: http://www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads and everything there is 15% off!

And at my http://www.pinkdoodle.com shop everything is 15% off, just search by my store name Debty Beautiful Beads. I have all sorts of different items in each shop. Checking to see if one shop sells better than the other.

Also, we continue to ask for your prayers for my husbands dad. He is in the VA nursing home and has very little time left. The cancer is spreading now and fast. He's been in the hospital/nursing home probably about 3 months or more now. Its been so hard on everyone watching him slowly slip and and suffering. As of late they keep him on so much pain killers he's hardly ever even awake. The lingering and suffering has got to be the worst part of cancer. To have to stand by and watch and have no power to do anything about it. It's really hard and so hard on the family. Hospice has been called in and they let him have his own room and they are letting Mark's mom stay in the room with him. So we are grateful for that. Just continue to keep him and the family in your thoughts and prayers.

Countdown Begins

Well we are now officially counting down the days until the adoption decree is signed!! Marking the days off her Bratz calender each LOL. We are all just so happy we can hardly stand it. Occasionally I'll just look at her and say something like "9 more days" and she just gives me the biggest hugs and smiles! She is definitely a bit more emotional and clingy right now, I know her anxiety must be thru the roof until this is finalized. But my counselor told me about a book (and I never thought I'd be the type of parent to get help help raising my child from a book!) But this book has to be the most amazing book ever! It's 1-2-3 Magic, Parenting for the Christian Parents by Dr. Phelan. (He also has a regular one too that has the Christian side left out but to me personally that's the most important part.) Anyways, he really sheds some light on the thing kids do to test you, and how unknowingly you let them pull you right in! It's basically all common sense. I have already started using his technique and it's working SO good! Not to say we've not had some tantrums, but that's to be expected. But it WORKS! I would HIGHLY recommend this book! And when I started reading it, I realized that her kindergarten teacher implements the same method! So she is getting the consistantcy at school and home and come to find out a LOT of schools are using his technique. I will have this book forever with tons of notes and sticky posts its hanging out of it and such LOL.

Of course as always can't blog and not tell of my sales going on, hehehe. On my etsy store: www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com everything is HALF off.

Then you can go to my ebay store: www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads or to pinkdoodle.com (just search for my store name) and everything in both of those stores are 15% off ANY item. And as always, buy from ANY of my shops and received a FREE gift with every order!

Thank you all my friends for all your support and prayers through this whole situation and I just thank God and give Him all the praise for the way it has worked out!

It's the Day!

Well today is the day!! I am getting ready to head off to DSS so we can read their file (mandatory for adoptive parents) and they will file the paperwork TODAY! Then in TEN days it will be official!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not express how happy we all are! It's almost like a dream after all we've been through! So thank you everyone for all the support for my ups and downs and all the prayers sent to our family.

To honor this day I will continue my HALF off ANY item in my etsy store:
http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

And 15% off my pinkdoodle and my ebay stores:

http://www.pinkdoodle.com/ShopProfile.aspx (if this link doesn't work just go to pinkdoodle and search by my shop name DebtyBeautifulBeads)

http://www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads

Take advantage of these wonderful sales while you can. And there are a variety of different items in each store so if you don't see something in one store, you might find something you like in another!

Thanks!

TWO WEEKS!!!!!

I have the GREATEST news!!! We had our home visit for the adoption yesterday, which of course went just fine. More formality than anything BUT the caseworker went ahead and brought the paperwork and we signed all the paperwork for the adoption!! Thursday we have to go to DSS and read the file and they will file the paperwork THURSDAY!! Then we have to wait 10 days and then it will be official. So basically in TWO WEEKS we will have our daughter adopted!!! After all the struggles, tears, pain and battles it's basically done. We are having such a BIG party!! An adoption/birthday type party..since it will be her "birth" into our family, officially anyways. After the DSS worker's left yesterday she was just so happy. I think she is starting to realize that this time, it's really going to happen. No more moving, no more good-byes, no more losing loved ones. She is in a stable, loving home and she isn't going ANYWHERE!! And I have to thank God first and for most for this most special gift. It has been a long road, and we would not have made it without Him! And how He took DSS's "mistake" and made it our Miracle. He always has a plan. And I can't give Him greater thanks than for my loving and beautiful daughter. Once the adoption is final I'll post a "family picture" here for all of you to see us :-)

Also, just a reminder, I'm not going to close my etsy shop but since I got this WONDERFUL news I am still running the half off sale of everything in my etsy shop at http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com And just to kick this party off right you can also have 15% off any item in my ebay store http://www.stores.ebay/Debty-Beautiful-Beads or my PinkDoodle shop at http:www.pinkdoodle.com and search under Debty Beautiful Beads

All I can say is thank you so much to all who kept us in your thoughts and prayers!!

Back and Selling!!!

Ok, thanks to the support of my fellow etsyians I have decided not to officially close my shop. Just to make it more of a hobby. Ease some of the pressure off myself....BUT...I'm still running my HUGE SALE!!!

50% off everything in my store!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it while you can!!

http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!

I hate to say it but I am closing up shop. EVERYTHING in my store is HALF off!!! Come on in and get it while you can!!

http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

Light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

All I can say is YIPPIE AND PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!! I just got a call from DSS and they are coming out Monday to do the "official" home check for the adoption and she will have a date for us to come in and sign the adoption papers after that!! I am so excited I could bounce off the walls!! After almost a year there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And not that I can go into details yet...but this is definitely a testimony to God's work with all we've been through. It's very emotional for us all. So thank you all who have prayed and sent up good wishes for us!! And trust me, as soon as the paperwork is final, before the ink is even dry (lol) I will post a pic of my and MY daughter and you can see for yourself how God meant this child to be mine. We are alike in almost every possible way!

PRAISE YOU GOD FOR YOUR BLESSING TO OUR FAMILY!



http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com
http://www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads
http://www.pinkdoodle.com/debtybeautifulbeads

My new store & crafts

So I have opened a new shop on Pinkdoodle. Come on by and check it out. Not much listed since I've just opened it but I have really gotten into crocheting/weaving and have added some really cute items.

Things at home are about the same. Except for now me and the kids are sick! They are both home from school today so this should be really fun dealing with 2 sick ones. And me being sick too! No rest for the weary LOL. But I have to say hubby helps out so much when he's home since I am sick, heck he helps out when I'm not. He's great. Well I have to hit the store for some cold meds for us all. Stop by my new shop and tell me what you think!

http://www.pinkdoodle.com/debtybeautifulbeads

Desparate for sales...lol...and my ongoing life saga

Well things seem to be trucking along. I've opened a couple of low maintence shops at pinkdoodle and ebay. Hoping and praying it will give me some exposure and some SELLS! We really could use the income. Once the adoption is done, all the extra money stops. We still get a monthly check but they wont pay for all the extra things she does and it will be up to us. And I still havent found a job, and not from lack of looking. I desparately don't want to work full time but I am even applying for those jobs. Mark is finally getting better and so am I and so far no sign of the kids getting sick so thank God for that. If you do want to check out some of my new stuff (I'm weaving & crocheting now, pretty cool) these are the places to go:
www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads
www.pinkdoodle.com/debtybeautifulbeads
www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

Hubby's dad isn't any better either. They have moved him from the hospital to the nursing home, they've done all they can do. So now it's just make his last days as comfortable as possible. It's been really hard on the family and my heart breaks for Mark. I am glad it's nothing that was sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and get closure but also it's killing him that it's dragging out too and his dad is having to suffer. He's going on 3 months in the hospital now. Breaks my heart and I just do what I can to show him I love him and here for his support.

So...go buy something...LOL. Sorry, just wanted to end on a light note.

Life & Crafting Sales & Specials

Well lets start with the good news first lol. I have opened an ebay store along with my etsy store. We've been cleaning out the closets and I sell all that stuff on ebay so I figured I'd try selling some of my handmade items as well. Can't hurt, the more exposure the better because I am definitely not on a selling spree right now LOL. I have added to my talents weaving and crocheting. Come by and check out some of the new things I've made! And I'll be adding plenty more in the next couple of days. And as always, receive a FREE gift with every purchase!

On the other side of my life, things have been stressful to say the least. My husband's dad is still in the hospital and he's not going to be coming home. He's having good days and bad days. And now his heart is starting to fail. I wish there was some way of comforting my husband and his family but words really just won't help. We've turned to the Bible and found a few comforting scriptures, the thing that hurts him most (other than his father leaving) is the fact he's suffering and lingering. He's been in the hospital for over 2 months now. And he'd rather see him go Home to be with God than suffer. It just breaks my heart.

And to end on a good note, we got a call from DSS and they have officially started the paperwork on the adoption!!! It's looks as if she could legally be ours before the end of the month! We are all so thrilled about it! She just screamed with job and delight and nearly hugged my neck off when I told her. LOL

So all in all life has been non-stop for us lately. Oh and the flu is running thru the family just to top things off lol. But we are hanging in there.

So, again, feel free to check out either of my shops :-)

www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com
www.stores.ebay.com/Debty-Beautiful-Beads

Life is crazy!

Wow it has been insane at my house. Reason why I've been gone for so long is due to everything going on. My husbands dad just isn't doing well at all. There is nothing they can do for the cancer and he came very close to dying. He's seems to have some strength back but there is nothing they can do but make the time he has left comfortable. We've spent a lot of time out at the hospital. I come and go as I can because our daughter is only 6 she isn't allowed on the floor he's on. Although they did make an exception for us once so she could give him a drawing and say goodbye. At that point we really thought it wouldn't be much longer. But he's doing a little better now. He'll have his ups and downs. Then my husband took the day off to visit his father and he had woken up sick that morning. Our nephew (whom we have guardianship of) was there too and I get a call from him that my husband had passed out and hit his head and was in the ER. I got a hold of the nurse at the ER and they transfered me to his room and I actually got to talk to him. They had him in a bed with a saline IV. Apparently he'd gotten really dehydrated. And came down with a full on case of the flu. Not a cold, but the flu. He's actually not really left the bed for the past 2 days. He seems a bit better today, but now I think I am getting sick, figures huh LOL. I've been run ragged.

On the flip side I do have a job interview on Friday so say a little prayer for me on that one. I think it would be a good job. It would be working for my local DSS and helping people get food stamps.

And our beautiful daughter has decided on her new name. Rosabella Jade - and she decided on Rosabella because she can have a variety of nicknames...LOL. She likes Bella, Bell, Ro, Rosa and Rosie. What can I say, she likes options..lol. We've basically been calling her Bella, when we remember. And it should be official (adoption/name change) by the end of this month or beginning of next, or at least that's what they've told us.

I have started crocheting too and am making some pretty cute stuff. You can check out the few things I've posted at a new store called pinkdoodle and it's: www.pinkdoodle.com/debtybeautifulbeads
I'll still list some on my etsy account too www.debtybeautifulbeads.etys.com
I'll be posting a lot more stuff in the next couple of days so keep checking back!

Good & Bad News

Well, lets start with the good news. I have been contacted about 2 jobs in the same day! Praise God! The first one I have an interview on Thursday and the second the next step is you fill out a personality test online. That one is with DSS so they want to make sure it's going to be a good fit. I am hoping for the DSS position, not only would it look GREAT for when we take in our next child its also closer to home. The other job is about 20ish minutes away (which includes going over a mountain) so I'd prefer the one closer to home. So pray that one of these are the jobs God has intended for me. Also things are moving along with our adoption. Looks like it will be the end of February or first of March at the latest. So we are excited about that and she is trying out new names LOL. So far she likes Bella. Just not sure if its going to be short for Isabella or Rosabella and the middle name is definitely Jade. We all are just still on cloud nine.

On to the bad, I am in need of some serious prayer requests (which I will post on the prayer request board as well). Just found out yesterday that they had to stop all treatment for the cancer on my husbands father, he is just not strong enough to handle it. They've had to stop treatment once for him to re-gain his strength, it put him in ICU. Once they got him stable they started the treatment again and the same thing happened. So my husbands mom called him yesterday and the doctors have told her he is too weak for surgery and the treatment and basically now all they can do is make his last days comfortable. Mark is the type to hold all his feelings in and I am just letting him know I am here for him and just trying to support him in this time. It's also going to be really hard on our nephew (he lives with us) and basically just the whole family obviously.

And just on a side note, not near as life threatening as his dad is I am still struggling with my depression/anxiety. Still trying to find the right med and dosage so I seem to stay an emotional wreck. And I really need to be strong for my family now. Please pray for peace for me from this illness. I have battled it so for many years that sometimes I just get so tired and just wonder how much more I can bear.

PS...I'm still running a 15% sale in my store, plus a free gift with every order

Ok, I cave :)

Ok, after all the overwhelming support and responses I received about closing my etsy shop I have made a decision I feel is best. I am going to keep my etsy shop open and delete the tons of sites I have only for promotion, Rubee and Castteam NOT being one of those lol. I will no longer spend hours on the etsy forums trying to get sales. I will post and blog here and cast and rubee and just let God's will be done and take a rest. This way there is no pressure and I don't burn out on my crafting or go any further in debt trying to advertise. So I am going to leave the store open but just ease up a bit and give myself a break.

Update and Possible Goodbye

Well all I hate to say it but I am seriously considering closing down my etsy shop. I'm just not getting anywhere. The only time I have sales are the buy and replaces and while I love those, I'm not making any money. I am thinking of just leaving ads for my stuff on my blogs and such and just let people purchase through paypal if they see something they want. I might set up a one page website (get if for free with Verizon) and let people see my stuff then contact me if they want to buy something. It really depresses me but I feel like I am going backwards. I've spent more than triple the amount of money on products than what I've sold and no matter what I do I just can't seem to get the exposure to get regular sales, and not even just alot of sales, in the last several months all my sales have been buy and replace except one from a friend online. I just feel like I'm sinking cause I am even joining all these street groups and trying to promote anyway I can and nothing seems to be working. I fear this just may not be for me, no matter how much I love it. I'm not going to stop crafting but make it more a hobby. I am neglecting my family and duties around the house and staying up all hours of the night trying to create that "perfect" item that will "put my shop on the map" and it's been over a year and it's just not working. I'm putting us in the (or rather HAVE put us in the hole) by trying to keep this up. And right now our lives are so crazy that I just can't keep continuing on like this. I need to simplify my life some. De-stress myself. Even my doctor said so, he said I am (and my husband has been telling me the same thing for months) taking on just more than I can handle and I need to take a step back. And I get so upset, I feel like such a failure that this just isn't working. But I will continue to make things and at least give as presents and gifts, maybe, hopefully, one day do a local craft fair. I just don't feel as if the online shop is going to work for me. But as I said, I'll do something so people can still get in touch with me, if they want. Not to mention I will keep my blog here, this isn't going anywhere. I'm not sure how many if any people read this but its a good outlet for me. So probably in the next couple of days I'm going to clearance out my etsy store and close it. So keep checking back, I will try to do it tomorrow but things have been so insane.

BUT...on the EXTREME plus side of life and all that's been going on, we have been OFFICIALLY APPROVED to adopt our foster daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They say it will probably be sometime in March to get all the paperwork finalized and filed but we couldn't be happier!! That has come as such a great relief to all of us, we are going to throw a HUGE party in celebration of it as well. And my daughter can't wait to change her name, and she may only be 6yrs old but she is dead set she is changing her first, middle and last name. I was told its actually fairly common among foster children, it's a fresh start for them. Plus her name is a "family" name that's been handed down and she just flat out does not want it. So we've been working on a list of names...we actually had a flat out, tantrum throwing fit that I vetoed the name Barbie....LOL. I just told her to trust me, in a few years, she'll thank me for that one! So praise God this is almost done and we can relax a bit now that we've been officially approved and just have to do the paperwork now.

Well as you can see I've wrote a book tonight, so I will post tomorrow or the next day about the closing of my etsy and how to reach me if you still want to buy. Besides, my daughter loves doing arts and crafts with me too so I could never stop actually creating, just having to find a different way I suppose. Well goodnight for now.

www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

Sorry Been MIA - update

Sorry I've been gone so long guys. It's been crazy around here. All of a sudden my internet starts acting up and I call in and get an automated machine saying that I had called and scheduled to cancel my internet! Of course this is news to me since I didn't! So I go round and round and they couldn't (don't know why) stop the disconnection and then they tell me its going to be 2 weeks before they can have it back up, now I have all the equipment, they just have to turn it on....so I stew about this and figure I would call in on Monday and demand it be turned on sooner when lo and behold it was up on Saturday morning LOL. They must've heard me and got scared lol.

So update on me, went to my doc and he has upped my depression med to full strength. It will take a few weeks to see if it works. If not, then we will have to try something else. I am still trying to just deal with it and all the drama going on. Doesn't help that I got fired, yes fired, from my job. Now the kids were out of school for TEN days (not including weekends) for the holidays and my husband took off those days so I wouldn't have to. Well right after that there was 2 snow days, of course Mark has taken so much time he can't take those days too, then I got sick, so I got a call from the staffing agencey saying I was fired. Just keeps getting better and better So take pity on me and buy something from me LOL. Same sale, %15 off and free gift with every purchase!

www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com

Sale Sale Sale

Ok everyone I am marking everything in my store 15% off and get a FREE gift with every order!! This sale will not last forever so get it while you can! Be sure to check it out at: www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com


And new items are always being added!!!!!!!

Life & Sales

Well needless to say December was a very rough month for me, and sadly this month isn't looking any better. I pray things will change, just too much to go into right now.

Needless to say I still need to raise some money! So I am still have a super sale in my etsy store! And check back often, I just hit the craft store today so lots of new goodies will be popping up soon! And now for the SALE: 15% off any item in the store and a FREE gift with every purchase!! Just make sure to mention the sale so I can adjust the amount or I can just do a refund if paid thru paypal. So come on by and help me out!!

www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com