Wow, I know it's been a long time since my last post and I have a LOT of updating to do. So here it goes, I'll break it down into sections the best I can LOL.
Okay, first and foremost, the update on the adoption, IT'S FINAL!!! It was official on March 31st and we found out the first week of April. We are all just estatic beyond words! We are having an adoption party for her next weekend. We are having it at the park and inviting everyone. We will have cake and ice cream and snacks and lots and lots of presents. We are holding it at the park so the kids can run and play and I don't have to worry about cleaning up a huge mess after LOL. Bella (her new name so I can actually say it now) is just the happiest thing about it. She and I both were screaming and jumping up and down and I was basically crying. God's been so good to us. Now she wants a sister..lol. We do want to adopt another girl around her age so she will have a sister, someone to play with so she won't be so lonely. So that's been such a great relief.
On my nephew, he has been causing some serious problems and has my husband and I stressed beyond the breaking point. I've talked to my psychatrist and Bella's counselor and they both agree something deeper is going on. Everytime I suggest him going back into counseling (he was in it when he first came to live with us) he swore he would just sit there and not say a word. And he's 16yrs so it's hard to "make" him do anything. So finally it came to the point where we calmly told him he had to change or he was going to have to move elsewhere. We just couldn't take it anymore. The stress it was putting on all of us, scaring Bella, and the stress on our marriage, we just couldn't take it anymore. So, thank God, he has decided he wants to go back into counseling. He is going to meet with Bella's counselor (whom is just fantastic) and she is going to asses him and see if she is the right person to counsel him or if she thinks it should be a male. But the first step was him agreeing to counseling. So wish us luck with this.
And with me, my depression is still not that great. I seem to either be irritable all the time or just blah and can't snap out of it. It has also caused some stress in the house and on our marriage. And I just have no motivation do do anything. On top of all that I still haven't found a job, so money is tight and my husband (of course) is stressed about that and I myself need counseling but the sad part is, we can't afford it. I already see my shrink and that's $30 a visit and it would be the same for a counselor and with me not working we just can't afford it, whereas the kids both have medicaid so we don't have to pay for that. So please pray for healing on my part too. I've been like this for months now and I am just tired of feeling this way. I just have lost all zest for life, not as in a hurt myself way (I'd NEVER do that) but as in I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone, that's one of the reasons it's been so long since I've posted. Just couldn't make myself actually get up and do it. So I am fighting hard.
Also, this weekend, we got a call for another placement, a little boy that is 1yr old. I wanted to take him in so badly. I want a baby so bad. But Mark didn't. He feels like we just shouldn't with everything going on and me not working, which I think is perfect because I don't have to take off work to get him into daycare and such. We talked about it alot, and he's not sure he's ever going to want to take one in that young. He feels he is getting too old and doesn't think he will be able to handle it. Which of course made me even sadder and depressed because I really want a baby. But I also want it to be something that we both want, cause if it's not, that would make it unfair to him, me and most importantly, the child. And I understand his point, so I'm not mad at him (although he was afraid I was) I am just sad. And I told him that, that I can be sad about it without being mad at him.
So, lots going on and I am trying to deal. Oh and Mark's dad is still in the hospital. Actually a nursing home and hospice has been called in, so it's just a matter of time, we don't know how much. But he's suffering and that just stresses my poor husband even more. It's hard to see him go thru this. So we need prayer for that as well.
Okay, I am going to cut this one off for now, since I've wrote a book...lol. But as always, stop by my etsy shop: http://www.debtybeautifulbeads.etsy.com and of course there is a sale going on and I have a few things on ebay as well. Here is the link to one of my items then you can just click the link at the bottom to see the other items: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=320252598428&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT
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